Pregnany & Parenting Coaching

Looking through incoming emails, tweets, fb notifications and e-newsletters that inhabit my inbox more and more, I noticed something interesting:  Lifestyle Coaches for people entering the pregnancy and parenting pathway. After some investigation, I found a plethora (many, many) web business/sites that offer services on everything from getting pregnant to getting your kid into college.

There are sites by enduring public health organizations that cover the range of conception, pregnancy, birth and early parenting issues – such sites as those by the Mayo Clinic, the March of Dimes, and WebMD – starting with how to get pregnant. You can also find business sites for these range of topics – such as The Bump and BabyCenter.

In addition, there are individualized sites that cover coaching for one or more parts of the process. Sites specialize in getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, caring for a newborn, finding childcare, finding early childhood education, how to talk to toddlers, what to do with children of all ages, how to get them ready for school, how to encourage them in school and so on. Some specialize in a combination of two or more of these topics. Some started out specializing in one topic and are moving along as the owners or writers evolve in their lives.

I realize that this is an outgrowth of the “mommy bloggers.” Many computer literate women found blogging a way to deal with the life-changing event of having a child. For some, the internet became a means of making a living while staying home. Realizing that there was a large audience in this realm, the mommy entrepreneurs evolved…and, not all of them are mommies.

We are beginning to see the next generation:  pregnancy and parenting life coaches – individuals who may or may not have professional backgrounds in one of these areas, but are learning to turn their own experiences into businesses that help – or purport to help – others along this part of life’s path. Where does the impetus for this come from? Is it just that the internet makes a new business model possible? What else might be happening here?

For some time, I have thought that young persons entering parenthood these days are at a distinct disadvantage. Bearing and raising children is not easy or cheap. It requires a network of support and advice that used to be present in the extended family. But, we leave home and are much more mobile these days. We may live in Texas, but our baby’s grandparents live in Oregon or Brazil or Turkey. I asked my own exercise, childbirth education, and parenting clients about this. I found that many were in the classes precisely because they felt they had no firsthand experience or knowledge about what it was like to hold, feed or change a baby, let alone be prepared for birth and the sleep deprivation that followed. I also found mommy bloggers and entrepreneurs who found the impetus for their new work sprang from these issues in their own lives.

So, over the next series of blogs, I will be writing about some of these sites and services…both the professional organizations and the new mom entrepreneurs who have turned a difficult life transition into a way of simultaneously helping others while putting food on their tables. It looks to be an interesting journey and I hope you will follow along! I will get the next blog up in a few days, as soon as I am in the next location with internet access. My office is temporarily in the hurricane blackout zone of CT, but they promise me service soon. The first topic:  How to get pregnant!

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Pregnancy Pathway, Birth

There is no birth of consciousness without pain.

Birth is a process with two major components

Birth is a life process with two major components

Okay, be here now:  This is about a really major experience…bringing human consciousness into the world…opening a door to a room of love in your heart that you can only know by giving birth to this person…changing your identity forever.

Getting your mind around the image: If you have not taken the time yet to get your mind around this, take a moment. Breathe in deeply. Gently blow the air out. Repeat. Repeat. Let go of any resistance. Slow your heart. Slow your mind. Consider:  Your body has the power to create a person. Your body has the power to expel this person when the rent is up.

Your brain, glands and organs are having a conversation with the baby’s brains, glands and organs. At some point, this discussion reaches a place where it is time to end this arrangement of two people sharing one body. It is true that occasionally the passenger doesn’t want to leave, but that is rare. And, we have a remedy for that. Let’s just focus now on the what happens when it’s time to go.

Labor starts how? Well, it depends. Sometimes contractions start in fits and spurts and take a while to get organized. Sometimes they start strongly from the get go, and for others the process of getting rolling can take a few days. Sometimes it starts early, and sometimes has to be helped to start. Once in a while, the water breaks and labor starts…or not. So, the first lesson of having a child come to live with you is that you need to be flexible in your expectations.

In the next two posts, we’ll cover Labor and then the Birth Mode. Each of these processes is unique. They involve different energy systems. They require different mind-sets from the mother and her support team. The outcomes are different. Going through the center of these processes helps you deal with them, helps you recover from their strenuous nature and helps you move on to being a parent.

Remember: Breathe in deeply. Gently blow the air out. Repeat. Repeat. Let go of any resistance. Slow your heart. Slow your mind. Consider:  Your body has the power to create a person. Your body has the power to expel this person when the rent is up.

Pregnancy Pathway, Preconditions – Environment

Please refer to February 5 entry for entire graphic. Today: Environmental Preconditions to Pregnancy.
bubblus_preconditions-environment
Our environment is with us all the time. Even if we think we are preventing or controlling environmental factors that impinge on our bodies and minds, they are lurking here, there, everywhere, and they are myriad. Our environmental influences are everything from the air we breathe to the persons who raise or teach us, from the food available to our housing, from our job stresses to cultural forces or even the weather in our part of the world. These things help shape who we are physically and mentally, over the long term and from moment to moment.

08-4Are you prepared to become a parent? One way to tell is to look at your environment…is it healthy? Are you living in a situation that you can count on? What about clean air, safe paint or safe food? What about water? What about people around you? Are they supportive? Does your environment help you stay healthy?

What about your body? Factors in the environment that affect fertility (or lack of it) may determine if  you can even become pregnant, or when you can become pregnant. Think about this:  Women who work together often cycle together. What if you work alone, say at home…does this affect your ovulation? One factor identified in the lowering age of menstruation in girls is the increasing number of hormones in various meats. Another factor is the presence of non-biologically related older males in the household. If these things are known, imagine what is not known about situations, chemicals or people in our environment that affect our reproduction!

There is not an absolute separation of genetics, environment and behavior. If we are genetically predisposed to certain disorders, for example, we may or may not develop them, depending on environment. Some persons are inclined toward autoimmune disorders, but they may do well or poorly depending on the air pollution where they live. Some individuals may develop immune disorders. And, this situation may adversely impact inflammatory responses during implantation.

People who strive to take care of themselves even if they live in horrible conditions can use their behavior to improve their chances for success in everything from a healthy pregnancy to a meaningful existence. Even if genetics and the environment are against the process, behavior can sometimes overcome the odds. Granted, it’s not likely you can produce 6’5″ offspring (see last post on genetics!) if the egg person is 5’2″ and the sperm person is 5’7″, but much is possible beyond that.

So, what do you do about your environment if you are thinking about becoming pregnant? Take stock. Ask yourself what, if anything, might have to change. Ask what you can or can’t accept for your offspring, if you know there are environmental factors that aren’t perfect. Fetuses are amazing creatures; the placentas that supply and defend them are ruthless and will protect a fetus at all costs. But, you can give your body and potential baby a good chance to do well by providing a six month span of a healthy environment leading up to conception. And, healthy for mind as well as body.

When your baby comes into the world, a door opens in your heart to a room you didn’t even know was there. In that room is a certain kind of love and caring that cannot be described. It is love for this being who is and isn’t you. As a mother, you have been her/his environment for nine months or however long you have shared. The womb is a small, protected, organized environment, one that reflects your larger environment. So, take stock now, ahead of time.